So this dream I was having this morning involved me borrowing Esowolf's rollerblades in order to rollerblade home and back to the McDonald's we were eating in before I had to get back to the office in time for my lunch hour to be over.
Somehow, I managed to rollerblade to my house and back in the time required, and rollerblade much better than I should be able to (I've never rollerbladed, largely due to the fact that I have very weak ankles and the last time I went ice skating, I was in constant fear of twisting both ankles from the way they were bending at odd angles to keep me upright), considering my ankles.
If that wasn't weird enough, as I was passing the front of the McDonalds - on my way around back to where my car was parked (why I couldn't have taken my car on my errand, I'll never know) - I stopped to watch my friend Feral, who was standing outside the restaurant with a megaphone, offering free floggings to the first 50 people to buy Big Macs.
So after months of not remembering any of my dreams and a couple of weeks of near insomnia (possibly due - in part - to that summons I'm still dealing with that I'm NOT going to think about right now...) I finally, this morning have one of my trademark WHACKED dreams...
This was completely unexpected and rather odd... Odd in that it actually didn't involve any kind of weird, kinky sex at all.
So anyway...
Mom, Dad and I are in Germany visiting my aunt and uncle. Mom parks the car and she and Dad go into the house, leaving me to pay the meter... Now where we actually park doesn't look like ANYWHERE I've ever been in Germany... Actually, the whole area looks more like Venice, Italy. On top of all that, my Aunt and Uncle's house looks more like it might be city hall than an actual house and the place where we're parked is a big square that looks like it should actually be a canal but it's not (the canal actually starts right next to the lot. In fact, the parking lot is made of dirt and the canal next to it is the same color as the lot, except it's water and the land just drops out from under you where the water starts.
Now here's where it gets stranger... Instead of going into the "house", I decide to take a walk across the street (the sidewalk is actually more of a boardwalk... all made of wood planks, on top of more dirt. I walk passed all of the shops on the other side of the street and then turn around and walk back. Noticing, as I do that all of the stores are Japanese, and most of them are selling Anime.
So I walk back along the boardwalk across from the house, around the corner to a HUGE Barnes & Noble type building that's being remodeled into an Empire Records store. Now, my dream self begins to think that this is WAY too weird, so I turn around and start to head back... but I find that I'm much farther from the house than I should be, so I take a transport (in the form of a pair of dolphins) across the canal to where the house is. I get off in-between the two dolphins, which is somehow solid, dry land, give them both a few pats to thank them and step onto the boardwalk just as some workers have brought this huge, mean, cartoony black shark out of the water.
I watch as the canal workers muzzel the shark with a huge band of hot pink leather and strap a large pink harness to it's back... Watching the shark, however, weirds me out, so I walk back to the car to feed the meter, which looks like a small ski ball game.
Just as I start adding money to the meter, Dad comes out and tells me that I have to get in the house because Mom and my aunt are trying to talk to each other but Mom doesn't understand German and my aunt doesn't understand English so I'm going to "have to learn German in reverse" so I can mediate between the two...
At which point, I wake up... Still wigged about the shark and trying to figure out what the hell they meant by learning German in reverse...
I dreamed last night... this morning... whatever... that I was in hell... Only I wasn't there to rule hell... or help rule hell... or whatever...
I dreamed that I was sent there for some reason or another... and that my punishment was to be set infront of a gigantic bowl of greasy consomme with a neverending stack of parchment paper and forced to degrease the soup, which would never degrease, by the way... ::shudder::
And then I was rudely awoken at about 2:30 by some asshole calling my cell phone and had several near-fatal accidents stumbling to the living room to pick up the call but no one was there... Grrr...
... So!
Upon my arrival at work this morning, I was given the task of waking up the Head NOC and informing him that our payment processor was down again... That was fun...
At some point today, I vaguely recalled having a dream about the guy I messed around with at Con, senior year.... Only things ended MUCH differently... Odd... I have no idea where it came from... Either Aunt Flo's coming early this month or I'm just lonely and desperate....
Hmmm... I'd better get back to these notes now.
I don't know what's come over me today. There's this strange hyper intensity about everything I do right now that I'm sure would scare me under normal cercumstances. But this feels right. I don't know... I was discussing it with Jewels today... And then this dream I had this morning.
I had this dream that I was performing a dark ritual... at Esowolf's request. All of our witch friends were there. And I was an agent of darkness... only there wasn't anything "bad" about the ritual, the setting or anything... even though the whole thing was set up like a black mass. There was a sense that what I was asked to do was to access the powers of Darkness but as an act of balancing the scales. And I was asked to do this by and for Esowolf, who was the agent of Light. Only as we started the ritual, these pebbles (kinda like the ones you would find at the bottom of a fish tank) which started out black began turning white. As if someone was trying to stop us from performing what needed to be done. Lils and another friend of ours were there helping me. And as they set things back on track again, my cell phone woke me up.
Now the really weird part of this is that I remembered all of this, even after being jolted awake at 1/4 to 6 this morning. This sort of thing NEVER happens. And I've been trying to think about what's been different this week.... Because I've been dreaming (and remembering that I've been dreaming) all week... But the only things I can come up with are: I've been sick. I'm a girl right now. And I'm barely eating... This isn't as bad as it sounds... really. I AM eating, for all you people who will be concerned about this, but barely. I've been eating small amounts of mostly fruits and carbos. And only one real "meal" a day... all week. This sounds bad, but I FEEL great! Strangely hyper but great!
In talking to Jewels, (and in thinking about all this on the way to work this morning) I'm also realizing something else. That I've been coming to accept myself as a creature of Darkness. And while this would sound like a bad thing, it's really not, because I don't think of Light and Dark as "good and evil" I think of these two aspects as parts of a scale that are kept in balance. And I'm that little part of Yin that sits on the side of Yang, acting as a counter weight to my counterpart.
I'm like The Crow. A dark spirit, seeking vengeance/justice/etc in an effort to balance the scales. And as I'm coming to accept this, I'm also realizing that a big part of what's different this week is that I've come to terms with this and I'm actually feeling comfortable with this. I feel like I'm at home in my own skin again. It's weird. It's GREAT!! I'm sure that if I wasn't so hyper right now, I'd start to wonder how long this is going to last but this has got to be the best high I've been on in years!!
Hey there, everyone! I'm Adrianne Vandal. Hang on to your seats boys and girls! I'm baaaack!!!
I'm keeping it short tonight because I'm too fucking tired to write anything lengthy. I think my love of The Others has come back to haunt me in my dreams. Or at least my dreams from last night. The fact that I even remembered them is astounding to me, since I never remember my dreams. Esowolf thinks it might be a sign that I'm getting better at remembering, but I kinda doubt that remembering one dream out of who knows how many is much of a sign... ::shrug:: I just think it has something to do with this time of the year... at least 5 of my friends had weird dreams last night. Maybe it's a sign...