No, of course not. Being me is never going to be good enough for some people. But still, there are those who continue to try and change me. And when I refuse, they say that I'm not the one doing it, that it must be my friends or some out side influence which is FORCING me to be what I am.

Who are they to talk? They don't know me any more. Perhaps they never did. Or maybe they're just too shallow accept the person that is me.

And when I am forced to skip out of something because of a prior engagement, I'm told that I'm "deserting" or that I'm "hurting other people's feelings." Haven't I done enough already? I've fulfilled my obligations for the last 23 years. And now, when I have to do something else that just happens to be scheduled at the same time as another event, I'm told that I'm not thinking of their feelings!

What about my feelings? Have they ever once asked me about that? No. Because I'm not supposed to feel like this, right? I'm not supposed to feel like they are pushing me away with every word they say.

These aren't people I even understand anymore! They want to know who is influencing me? THEY are the ones who are influencing me. They're influencing me right out of their lives and they don't even see it.

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