What damned comment you need to cancel this service? - Well, comments are generally appreciated but you're account information would be much more helpful. ;}
STOP SENDING ME YOUR NEWSLETTER!!! Your unsubscribe feature does not work. I want nothing to do with your rotten company or your unsolicited emails. - Okay! Send me your account information and I'll unsubscribe you. My psychic powers only go so far...
I faxed in my authorization form about an hour before your credit department closed yesterday. I know they've just opened, but why isn't it authorized? - If I say "within a business day" what exactly does that mean to you?
Cancel my acount now I am gettung messages that you are charging me fake messages and wanted CANCEL MY ACCOUNT - uhh... okay....
Your system should never go down like that. It's bad business practice. - Yes and it should never rain on your parade either.
For the 3rd time, pull your head out of your butt and cancel my account. - Only if you'll pull your head out of yours. ;)
Cancel me out! UNSUBSCRIBE. I will regard any future communication from you as harrassment and will report it as such. You are a menace!! - Well, if you'd bothered to request cancellation in the first place...
"STOP EMAIL SPAM ASSHOLES!" - email spam is a fact of life by now... you might as well try and stop junk mail from showing up in your physical mailbox.